Three of our writers discuss the question of the month.
by Dakota Wise
To have God be the center of a romantic relationship is something that is very special and important to me. How I see a God-centered relationship is to have God be the foundation of what two people hold true to who they are. Foundations can be made out of almost anything: common interest, goals, or an inside joke shared between two people and those all can work for some people. I have tried a few of these and they have crumbled underneath my feet. To make a relationship last and have immeasurable depth, I feel God has to be the foundation of the relationship. When I see a God-centered relationship, I am inspired to seek that out for myself and to live in relationship with God and my future significant other. That is what I hope for in a future relationship.
by Kalynn Brown
Being engaged is a special place in a relationship. It’s like the balance between taking the leap off the diving board and into a whole different atmosphere, and climbing the ladder to the diving board. Engagement is exhilarating and as different for every individual relationship as styles of diving from a diving board. Because everyone is so different, it’s important to know that what seems good for someone else’s relationship is not always good for everyone else. Maybe a two-month engagement is healthy for some people. Or maybe a 19-month engagement is healthy, like it is for me and my fiancé. There is no right or wrong when it comes to your deciding what is best for your relationship as long as your relationship is centered on God. Pray together—lean on God as questions arise about your relationship and your future. Even though the “honeymoon” dating period might be over, it’s important to keep the relationship exciting in engagement and to not let the wedding stress overtake daily life. Pre-marital counseling can help immensely. NU offers pre-marital counseling in a faith-based atmosphere. Hang in there and enjoy every minute!
by Peter McMurray
A godly relationship should consist of two people who model Christ’s love and glorify Him better together than apart. A couple pursuing this kind of love would serve the other before serving themselves. People often mistake loving someone with being “in love.” Being “in love” is just a feeling, and one that changes day to day. But to actually LOVE someone with all that you are is a verb. It’s what you do. When I say I love my wife, I am saying that I do the dishes when she has a lot of homework because I know she will be able to study better with a clean kitchen. When I say I love my wife, I’m saying that I will pick up a second job so that she doesn’t have to work more. It’s about selflessness and service. Godly love is about action, not about feeling. Furthermore, in a godly relationship the couple glorifies God better together than apart. Their relationship is a way of worshiping God; the two seek after Him together in prayer and devotion so that Jesus remains first in their lives. My wife and I are a team with different strengths and weaknesses that balance us out quite nicely. With her help, I can do more to further the Kingdom of God than I could ever do on my own, and vice versa. I believe that all godly relationships work that way, the two forming one strong team to glorify God together through their lives and their example of His amazing, selfless love for us.