Twas the night before finals, when all through NU
Not a student was stirring, no, not even you;
The books were spread across floors and on chairs,
In hopes a snowpocalypse would cancel finals there;
The freshmen were nestled all snug in their beds,
While seniors’ and juniors’ hearts filled with dread;
Nursing students in scrubs and business majors in slacks
Had just collapsed for a short, study-break nap.
When out on the green there arose such a clatter,
Students complained from their beds, wondering what was the matter;
Away to the window students’ feet they did drag,
Tore open the blinds, and kicked their book bags.
Rebecca Black’s “Friday” sung on the field of new fallen snow
Gave confusion and anger to students below,
When, what their wondering eyes should see,
But a man from the South, and eight faculty.
With a distinguishable accent, so lively and merry,
They knew in a moment it must be President Castleberry.
As rapid as eagles the professors they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
“Now, Bacon! Now, Diede! Now, Charette and Christensen!
On, Drivdahl! On, Embry! On, Ziefle and Jacobson!
To the top of Perks! On top of the halls!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”
As fast as chicken nuggets from the Caf on Fridays do fry,
The professors jumped off the roofs, up the hill they did fly;
So up to the Aerie the professors they flew,
With their punch cards and wallets, and caffeine cravings, too.
And then, in a twinkling, students heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each dress shoe.
As they picked up their sleepy heads, and were turning around,
Down the hallway President Castleberry came with a bound.
He was dressed in a suit, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with mud and soot;
A bundle of books he had flung on his back,
And for just ninety-nine cents, you could buy from the sack.
His eyes—how they twinkled! His accent how merry!
His laugh was like banjos; he was craving the Aerie!
The drawl from his mouth was easy to hear,
He was a southern St. Nick in need of some cheer;
The stain of coffee upon students’ teeth
And the smell of espressos far from weak
Made President Castleberry rub his belly;
He ordered a peppermint mocha and a pastry with jelly.
Dr. Ziefle was dressed as a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of Dr. Embry’s eye and a twist of his head
Soon showed to all that they had much to dread;
Charette spoke not a word but went straight to his work
And with Bacon filled all the stockings with papers and homework;
Dr. Diede, laying her finger aside of her nose
And giving a nod, corrected everyone’s prose;
Castleberry sprang to his feet, to his team gave a whistle,
And began they all lecturing like a Pauline epistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as a piece of advice,
“Happy Christmas to all, and buy my book on Amazon for a discounted price.”
Written Crista Greenwood