Humor page writing credits: Marlene Pierce, Rachael Wood, Jacob Woodward, Kimberly Garza
Haiku From the Couch:
Dearest Lounge Couples,
Your public affection flares;
Your passion inspires.
The Fast Track to Love
He pulled me over on the freeway to ask me my name.
He wrote me a poem after our first conversation.
On it date, time, and place where he said he would meet me.
But was I surprised when the date actually came!
He read me not poems, but crimes against the nation.
Never before has speeding hurt me so deeply.
I know we’ve been dating for less than a week,
But I can already tell you’re my heart’s missing piece.
Since the beginning of time, you were meant to be mine;
You’re my soul’s perfect match and frankly quite a catch!
So I’m delighted to ask for the very first time:
My darling divine, would you also be my valentine?
You mean so much to me, and since it’s already February,
I bought you a ring, for this most special anniversary.
Now as far as our future, three kids would be super;
I don’t mean to be rash; am I moving too fast?
Since first our eyes met, I’ve been having a blast!
Don’t worry! I talked to God about it. I think we will last!
My Future Valentine
As I sit from behind in Christian thought,
All I can focus on are your gorgeous brown locks.
The back of your hands
Always seem to catch my attention,
So clean and so pink I can’t even think.
You always seem to wear the perfect colors,
But boy you ought to have learned that from your mother.
My heart skips a beat every time you state scripture.
It makes me think this boy definitely
Needs to be in my picture.
I truly believe that God created you for me,
Choosing you from the rest, because in the end,
He knew I would love you the best.
– Love Dream Girl
Every day that passes I count down the hours
Just to see you again in Crowder.
As you walk by, I can’t even breathe.
My heart stops and skips like a million beats.
Your eyes and smile seem to light up a room,
But let’s not forget the smell of your amazing perfume.
So with this I say
Roses are red; violets are blue.
I am in love.
Can you guess with who?
From the desks of Marlene Pierce, Rachel Wood, Jacob Woodward, & Kimberly Garza