At this day and age, people are more resilient to ordinary means of making friends. Between social media, television, and the internets, many people feel adequately connected with friends and don’t want any more. But how then, does one initiate a romantic endeavor?
If you’re looking to meet someone new, you might need to do something a little more elaborate to get that special someone’s attention. Here are a few foolproof ideas of how to get a conversation going with someone you’re interested in:
Materials: 1 Blanket
1. Locate girl/guy you wish to meet.
2. Run to her/him as quickly as you can, bursting through all people surrounding said person.
3. Throw the blanket on top of her/him.
4. Start yelling “Stop, Drop, and Roll! Stop, Drop, and Roll!”
5. If necessary, tackle or throw her/him to the ground.
6. At this point, the person might be confused, but that is all a part of the process.
7. The person will ask, perhaps with expletives, “What are you doing?”
8. You respond, “I thought you were on fire because girl/guy, you are smoking!”
The Area 51
Materials: 1 “Government-Style” Suit, Sunglasses, Earpiece (Ipod earbuds acceptable), fake government badge
1. Put on the suit, glasses, earpiece, and badge to resemble government worker.
2. Locate the guy/girl you wish to meet.
3. Approach said person and say, “Sir/Ma’am [or gender appropriate colloquialism of your choosing], I’m going to have to ask you to come with me.”
4. The person will be confused and say something such as, “Who are you?”
5. You flip out your fake badge and say, “I work for a secret government agency that manages human interactions with extraterrestrial beings. Now, I need you to come with me.” 6. The person will still be confused and ask, “Why do I need to come with you?”
7. Whip off the glasses and confidently respond, “Because you are out of this world!”
The Bomb Squad
Materials: 1 or 2 Friends, 1 Remote-Controlled Robot (preferably with arm), Police Uniforms
1. Locate the girl/guy you wish to meet
2. Staying out of sight, drive the robot toward the person.
3. When you have reached her/him, use the arm of the robot to start poking her/his leg. (If your robot does not have an arm, then get a better robot. If all else fails, you can simply ram your robot into his/her leg over and over instead)
4. Once you have her/his attention, you and your friend(s) approach said person in a serious manner, wearing police uniforms.
5. Friend(s) pick up the robot while you address said person, “Sorry for the inconvenience this little robot might have put you through. We had received a bomb threat for this area, but after detailed investigation, we have determined that you are the bomb.”
Materials: 1 Skittles Wrapper
1. Cut a hole in the center of the skittles wrapper.
2. Using tape or glue (we recommend super glue for that long-time hold), attach the wrapper to your face.
3. Make sure that your lips are visible through the hole in the wrapper.
4. Go to a public location and locate girl/ guy you wish to meet.
5. Casually approach the person of interest. 6. Having caught her/his attention, suavely ask, “Want to taste the rainbow?”
If you have followed any of the above steps correctly, you will at this point become best friends, fall in love, and live happily ever after.